Walking a New Road
T.J. Brown walked into the Eugene Mission with a busted Achilles tendon, a broken heart and a mess, but he discovered that a life which looked like a dead end could be transformed into a free and open road.
T.J. had struggled with alcoholism his whole life and entered his first treatment program at 17 years old, but he maintained enough control to function, find love, buy a house and raise children. In fact, he thought his life was pretty perfect until his wife became sick and died.
She had a rare type of heart disease and suddenly felt unwell one day. Doctors discovered her artery was blocked and before T.J. knew it, he was forced to make the call to end life support.
He turned to alcohol to help numb the grief and he discovered he couldn’t run a business, maintain a home and raise kids with his depression, grief and a spiraling addiction. His father knew he needed help and had been trying to get him into the men’s Life Change Relapse Prevention Program, which he had resisted in the past.
When T.J. busted his Achilles tendon, he was finally willing to accept that he couldn’t turn his life around in his own power. About two or three weeks into the program, he says he had an experience in chapel that changed the trajectory of his healing.
“I know someone was preaching, though I’m not exactly sure who it was, but all I heard was, ‘breaking the chains’ over and over again,” T.J. said. “I sobbed and I just knew I was going to be OK. It was life changing and I can’t deny that.”
T.J. didn’t have much of a relationship with God – when he was in AA, he faked knowing God in order to appease people, which he had done all his life.
“Here I am, embracing something I never thought I would be embracing,” he said. “I had that vision (of the Eugene Mission) as a giant soup kitchen and people standing in line, but it’s so different. This program has been life changing.”
He said he can’t properly put into words what’s happened since he arrived and he’s grown and improved so much his father didn’t recognize him.
T.J. said the program allows men to step out of their lives for a while in order to focus completely on their healing. “Here, it’s me, God and the men in the home.”
“I had zero hope when I showed up here,” he said. “That day in chapel is what gave me hope.”
Going forward, T.J. said he wants to stay connected to church, to Celebrate Recovery and to maintain his relationship with the Eugene Mission. “I know I’ll be part of this Mission for the rest of my life in some way or other.”